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Rufus The Funny Ghost

Ghosts, light humour and serious beliefs, item 46

I’m Rufus, and I want to welcome you here. We might have a chance to get to know each other, while you enjoy your stay, but before we meet, let me tell you a bit more about who I am, and what brought me here in the first place.

I was walking by a house one day, when I noticed that a little girl was staring at me with a look that mimicked both fear and curiosity. I felt embarrassed, I was a total mess, and I probably scared the bejesus of that poor child. I never thought that I could frighten a child, I mean, I am not the best-looking lad, but I can’t even hurt a fly.

However, on that particular day, I was a bit off... I blamed my confusion on a series of events that I caused a few days ago. It all started one night, when I enjoyed one of the fine pleasures in life... wine. Oh, I love a nice glass of red wine, sometimes I love the same glass repeatedly.

Sadly, for my friends, I also love pranks. I never took life too seriously, I figured that we only live once, so we should make the best of it, and what is better than having a good laugh from time to time?

But, back to my story. I was sitting at my desk, drinking a half a century old, bottle of Chardonnay, and smoking a hand rolled Cuban cigar, when I had, what I thought to be, the best idea of a prank. Therefore, I started writing a letter to each and every friend I had, saying that Rufus Grant died in a tragic fire.

Maybe I should have stopped there, but... I like pranks to be realistic. So, I poured myself another glass of wine and, trusting that my insurance will cover the damage, I dropped the cigar on the wool carpet, which was warming my feet. Who knew that wool burned that fast?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not crazy, I got up and walked away, but I wasn’t as fast as I would have been if I were drinking coffee instead of wine. I made it out, just in time to hide from the fire fighters.

Now, I couldn’t go home, because I wanted to pretend that I’m dead, so I spent a few days roaming the streets. At some point, I noticed that I wasn’t hungry nor sleepy, so you would think that I would have realised that there is something wrong. But I didn’t, I just enjoyed the energy boost. Three days after my fake death, I went home, and I was a bit surprised to see my family carrying a coffin. They were never the target of this joke, so I rushed to them but... no one could see me, no one but my five years old niece.

I eventually realised that I am in fact dead, and now I have lot of time on my hands. The fact that no one can see me can only be an advantage. What am I doing here? Well... I do need a place to stay, and there are many nice people here. I do hope they appreciate my humour.

Ghost, Spiritual Or Historic Stories For Pubs And Restaurants